When I turned 60 I realized that what lay ahead right in front of me was the opportunity of a lifetime. The kids were now grown and living their own independent lives. There were no grandchildren yet. I was still healthy, thanks the L-rd, but work and income were dwindling to the bare minimum and it was getting harder to sustain myself with so little coming in. Even so, I felt comfortable where I was in New Hampshire. I had my cat to keep me company and an endless stream of Korean dramas to keep me happy.
At 60, in one's 7th decade, the reality is that many of my friends are living restricted lives... their finances are limited, some have large debt, many are still working to support a house and a maintain a comfortable lifestyle. At this age many friends have new health issues to contend with that limit their abilities. They are bound to doctors and medications and must adapt to a forced sense of retirement. With all this around me the truth was that I, although healthy, was managing to keep up some sort of facade that life was good. I somehow managed to keep my mind distracted away from the fact that I was actually spending my life in a bubble all alone most of the time.
At 60 I started to wonder: Is this really my life? Would this be my life for the next decade or two or for the rest of my days? How have I come to allow this lethargy to overcome me?
A few events shook me out of my stupor. First my mom died. She was 88 yrs old and, although bed-bound for the last five years of her life, she remained strong-willed and loved life. We had a rocky relationship yet somewhere, somehow I would be there when she needed help. Finally, as finances dwindled, she made the final decision to sell her home and move to a nursing home. I spent weeks emptying the house of her life's possessions. They were not just possessions and they were not just hers. My life, the lives of my siblings, her husbands and my children, her grandchildren were all present in those belongings. The process was heartbreaking and very eye-opening. Moving her to the nursing home was her choice - a decision we both regretted in the end. She died there after seven weeks. May Her Memory Be A Blessing. She is missed by many.
It was only now, following her passing, that I have come to realize that my mom devoted her life to me, my siblings and her grandchildren. Even from beyond she showed her love and managed to leave a small inheritance to each. I'd lived much of my adult life having just barely enough to get by and often with the help of state assistance. I was not accustomed to having resources to fall back on. It took me almost an entire year to adapt to this new reality. WOW. I was beginning to realize that I could actually lift myself off the sofa and fly away! Thanks Mom!
It took me three years to learn about finances (I am still learning!) and to sort out the funds. More importantly I needed the time to change my mindset.
During those three years my stepmother also died and my 92 yr old dad ended up with a new girlfriend, a very nice woman in her early 80's, both following a period of mourning.
Life all around was changing. Yet I was still stagnant albeit feeling comfortable enough still in my home in New Hampshire. However, in reality I was not comfortable. I was simply lethargic. I was mostly alone and I really was not very happy either.
At 62, as the dust had settled I began to get restless. Work was waning and being alone all the time was beginning to worry and frighten me. Should I invest in those bells and buzzers for old people living alone? Instead, thoughts of adventure that had been buried now resurfaced and became more prominent. My grown kids had been encouraging me to go for years! But how? Should I rent out my condo? My mind was set. That's what I would do. I would still have the security of a home to come back to. A safety net should I fail and fall. I began to explore details. Then one day my friend suggested, "Why not sell?"
Now I'm 63. It took me the last year of those three to finally decide to sell. My house sold in eleven days! Best realtor in New Hampshire: Tal Hagbi! Thank you!
Yikes! Now I had to empty out my own house and rid myself of my belongings which I did one by one. A bit of my heart went together with each item. The process was and is overwhelming. G-D was very kind. Even though it seemed quick and rushed the truth was that I had just enough time to spend on this part of the transition.
I put what I felt I still loved and/or needed or wanted into a rented storage unit. There it all awaits me.
The journey has now begun. Well, in all honesty it had already begun at age 60. Changing one's life takes time. G-D is still being kind to me. I am living temporarily with my dad and my 26 yr old son who also is staying here in the interim, and also in New Hampshire with my sister and bro-in-law. I'm getting hints at what traveling will be like. I am waiting to file my taxes so that I can tie up the final loose ends before leaving.
I am grateful for this segue between benign comfort and the unknown ahead of me. I have time to spend with my dad and his girlfriend - - an opportunity I am very glad to have. I have time with my son and can feel good that he is in process of setting up a new phase of his own life now too.
I have time to shop for specific travel needs and accessories and time to visit with my friends before I go. I will make a short visit to friends in Maryland too!
My first destination is Israel for my daughter's wedding!
I immigrated to Israel in 1976 but came back to America again in 1998. I was born and raised in America but my adult life was lived in Israel. I was married and divorced there. My children were born and raised there. Living in Israel for 22 years gifted me with insights about the world and how to adapt to new and diverse cultures and experiences. Because Israel is my true home, a familiar place, it provides me another perfect segue before setting out to the unknown.
I will be blessed with time again with my daughter and her fiance/husband.
I will see old friends who will encourage me to settle down ... please!!! Come back already. We're waiting for you!
After 40 years grounded I want to spread my wings and fly a bit while I still can! After Israel I plan to go to South Korea. I want to volunteer. I'm using a site called www.workaway.info.
I plan to play my guitar and share my beautiful music (www.rahelmusic.com & https://acousticbreezes-rahel.bandcamp.com/).
Where to next? New Zealand (Hey Baruch!)? Australia (Hey Laiya!)? Zimbabwe to reunite with my singing friends, Amavevane Acapella for The Healing Light Project!
At 60, in one's 7th decade, the reality is that many of my friends are living restricted lives... their finances are limited, some have large debt, many are still working to support a house and a maintain a comfortable lifestyle. At this age many friends have new health issues to contend with that limit their abilities. They are bound to doctors and medications and must adapt to a forced sense of retirement. With all this around me the truth was that I, although healthy, was managing to keep up some sort of facade that life was good. I somehow managed to keep my mind distracted away from the fact that I was actually spending my life in a bubble all alone most of the time.
At 60 I started to wonder: Is this really my life? Would this be my life for the next decade or two or for the rest of my days? How have I come to allow this lethargy to overcome me?
A few events shook me out of my stupor. First my mom died. She was 88 yrs old and, although bed-bound for the last five years of her life, she remained strong-willed and loved life. We had a rocky relationship yet somewhere, somehow I would be there when she needed help. Finally, as finances dwindled, she made the final decision to sell her home and move to a nursing home. I spent weeks emptying the house of her life's possessions. They were not just possessions and they were not just hers. My life, the lives of my siblings, her husbands and my children, her grandchildren were all present in those belongings. The process was heartbreaking and very eye-opening. Moving her to the nursing home was her choice - a decision we both regretted in the end. She died there after seven weeks. May Her Memory Be A Blessing. She is missed by many.
It was only now, following her passing, that I have come to realize that my mom devoted her life to me, my siblings and her grandchildren. Even from beyond she showed her love and managed to leave a small inheritance to each. I'd lived much of my adult life having just barely enough to get by and often with the help of state assistance. I was not accustomed to having resources to fall back on. It took me almost an entire year to adapt to this new reality. WOW. I was beginning to realize that I could actually lift myself off the sofa and fly away! Thanks Mom!
It took me three years to learn about finances (I am still learning!) and to sort out the funds. More importantly I needed the time to change my mindset.
During those three years my stepmother also died and my 92 yr old dad ended up with a new girlfriend, a very nice woman in her early 80's, both following a period of mourning.
Life all around was changing. Yet I was still stagnant albeit feeling comfortable enough still in my home in New Hampshire. However, in reality I was not comfortable. I was simply lethargic. I was mostly alone and I really was not very happy either.
At 62, as the dust had settled I began to get restless. Work was waning and being alone all the time was beginning to worry and frighten me. Should I invest in those bells and buzzers for old people living alone? Instead, thoughts of adventure that had been buried now resurfaced and became more prominent. My grown kids had been encouraging me to go for years! But how? Should I rent out my condo? My mind was set. That's what I would do. I would still have the security of a home to come back to. A safety net should I fail and fall. I began to explore details. Then one day my friend suggested, "Why not sell?"
Now I'm 63. It took me the last year of those three to finally decide to sell. My house sold in eleven days! Best realtor in New Hampshire: Tal Hagbi! Thank you!
Yikes! Now I had to empty out my own house and rid myself of my belongings which I did one by one. A bit of my heart went together with each item. The process was and is overwhelming. G-D was very kind. Even though it seemed quick and rushed the truth was that I had just enough time to spend on this part of the transition.
I put what I felt I still loved and/or needed or wanted into a rented storage unit. There it all awaits me.
I am grateful for this segue between benign comfort and the unknown ahead of me. I have time to spend with my dad and his girlfriend - - an opportunity I am very glad to have. I have time with my son and can feel good that he is in process of setting up a new phase of his own life now too.
I have time to shop for specific travel needs and accessories and time to visit with my friends before I go. I will make a short visit to friends in Maryland too!
My first destination is Israel for my daughter's wedding!
Israel is my real home.
I immigrated to Israel in 1976 but came back to America again in 1998. I was born and raised in America but my adult life was lived in Israel. I was married and divorced there. My children were born and raised there. Living in Israel for 22 years gifted me with insights about the world and how to adapt to new and diverse cultures and experiences. Because Israel is my true home, a familiar place, it provides me another perfect segue before setting out to the unknown.
I will be blessed with time again with my daughter and her fiance/husband.
I will see old friends who will encourage me to settle down ... please!!! Come back already. We're waiting for you!
I will visit my mothers' grave.
I will explore options for returning.
Yet at this time I have been bitten by the travel bug.
After 40 years grounded I want to spread my wings and fly a bit while I still can! After Israel I plan to go to South Korea. I want to volunteer. I'm using a site called www.workaway.info.
I am dreaming about XIAH Kim Junsu loving and singing my songs!
I plan to play my guitar and share my beautiful music (www.rahelmusic.com & https://acousticbreezes-rahel.bandcamp.com/).
Did you know that you can now tip musicians on line? (https://busk.co/11938)
Where to next? New Zealand (Hey Baruch!)? Australia (Hey Laiya!)? Zimbabwe to reunite with my singing friends, Amavevane Acapella for The Healing Light Project!
Wherever the wind blows me!
Finally the adventure begins!
I think you need to put a subscribe button on here, so people can subscribe to it!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written! I look forward to reading your blog and hearing about all adventures!
And I look forward to seeing you soon, too!!!!
Hi Betsy. Thanks for the comment and recommendation. I'm still learning about this. I will definitely look into how to set up subscribe. And can't wait to see you too!
DeleteWhat an adventure you will have! I loved reading this and really look forward to what's next and how it all unfolds! Who knows.....perhaps this will turn into a great book! I need to call you so we can go to Rami's or just hang out! I miss you!!
ReplyDelete